Rest, My Warfare
Recently, I was asked to guest blog at Homeschooling in Williamson County. It was the perfect time to get this out, make the confession, and hope that it would help someone–anyone. I have been asked, “How do you do it all.” The true answer to the that is, I can’t, at least not all the time . . .
I was overwhelmed, under prepared, in need of a break, and about to lose a battle that I didn’t even know I was fighting. I had come to the point where the components of my life that I once enjoyed were at war with one another making me mentally and physically ill—top that off with my daughter’s September 11th diagnoses of a brain tumor—and it was no wonder my survival mode was shutting down.
Fifteen days after the successful removal of the mass, we were home and back to normal . . . no kidding! Except for what we like to call her unfortunate haircut, it was as if nothing had happened! I homeschooled, I wrote, I cleaned, and I cooked, but I couldn’t focus. My body felt like it was crumbling. I couldn’t be satisfied. It seemed as if I was on the outside looking in at my life. But, I wouldn’t quit. I would not be defeated. With God all things are possible, right? I had children to school, a novel to release, and another one to write—the end was surely around the corner.
But then, it happened. On a Friday morning I stood before my kiddos and cried. The thought of one more week of routine homeschooling made me sick, so I declared early Christmas break. I took the following week to regroup, get crafty, put down the latest novel I was writing, and read someone else’s instead. I planned the rest of our homeschool year, straightened my house, and sat down to watch my favorite movies. I took a break—my own Sabbath of sorts—set apart to be a better me. I let go of the weight that I had been dragging around and allowed the center of my faith to carry it for me.
It wasn’t a battle lost; it was a victory—the bravest, most strategic move I could have made. I feel stronger, rested, relaxed, and a bit more organized. My declared Sabbath (a near three week break) has left me feeling more creative and inspired than I have in months. I have a clarity that I have not seen in a long time. I still have my battles, but I now know how to fight them! So, take a break! Regroup your army and adjust those battle plans! Allow rest to be your warfare!
Blessings sweet friends! Please take some time to rest. – Lauren H. Brandenburg